Divorced Fathers and Their Families by Florence W. Kaslow

Author:Florence W. Kaslow
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Springer New York, New York, NY

First Marriage, Children, and the Legal Divorce

Dr. U married when he was 22 years of age in 1968, separated in 1978, and was divorced in 1980. His wife, Sarah, also was Caucasian and Jewish. They were both raised in the same city. According to Dr. U, his wife’s family was known to be “obnoxious social climbers.” He stated that his major problem in their marriage during the early years was conflict with his in-laws, emanating from their irrationality in competing with his parents and with other families in the community. He also mentioned that his former wife had been previously engaged to a very wealthy man from a prominent local family, until he had broken off with her. After that she agreed to marry a student, him! Dr. U reported that her parents were very disappointed that their daughter did not marry into her prior fiancé’s affluent family; they were upset with Sarah for choosing to marry a graduate student. Sarah was educated as a teacher but admitted that she did not like teaching. She went back to school to study interior design, but she “failed” when she tried to launch her own decorating business.

They had two children together – their son, Bernie, who was seven years old and their daughter, Ilene, who only was three-and-a-half years old when they divorced. After they were born, Sarah had become increasingly discontent and disillusioned with her role as a mother and exhibited symptoms of depression and despondency. She experienced an identity crisis (Erickson, 1968) and made plans to leave their marriage and their children in order to rediscover herself in Los Angeles by adopting a different lifestyle. Her parents had taught her to rely upon her beauty and feminine wiles for exploiting men to indulge her in return for her affection and love. She had become the “princess of entitlement” which her husband had failed to recognize due to his youth, his focus upon his studies, and his captivation with her attractiveness. However, before she left for California, she became depressed and confused and subsequently was admitted to a psychiatric hospital for a month by her treating psychologist.

Dr. Unlucky cared for their children during her absence, and the children became very attached to him. The children told their friends and the neighbors that they wanted to be with their father rather than their mother, who was always yelling at them. Dr. U described his wife as attractive, charming, spoiled, self-centered, and completely indulged by her parents. She expected to continue being pampered as she had been as a child.

After her discharge from the hospital, Sarah went to see an attorney who told her to make sure “she kept the kids” which would entitle her to keep the marital house and to receive full financial support. Dr. U stated that Sarah “expected to receive the majority of the marital assets, unrealistic child support and extravagant alimony.” Conversely, he was told by his attorney to stay in the house as long as possible so

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